


Sammy Needs McDonald's Too

by fanfic814



Series: Castiel's Boys [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Age Play, Caretaker Castiel, Daddy Issues, Domestic Fluff, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Fluff, Healing, Little!Dean, Little!Sam, M/M, Non-Sexual Age Play, Non-Sexual Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-08-08 16:36:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7765180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanfic814/pseuds/fanfic814
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I know, it's been a while. I'm sorry! GISHWHES took every spare minute of my life last week, but I've been writing like crazy since. I have several stories started, so I'll make up for it soon.  (And yes, finally some Sabriel smut.  It's coming.)  For now, just a follow-up to 'Daddy's Boy'.</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know, it's been a while. I'm sorry! GISHWHES took every spare minute of my life last week, but I've been writing like crazy since. I have several stories started, so I'll make up for it soon. (And yes, finally some Sabriel smut. It's coming.) For now, just a follow-up to 'Daddy's Boy'.

Castiel looked down at his boy, curled up on the couch and lightly snoring with his head on his lap.  He loved the moments like this - Dean was so content and comfortable, he was practically purring in his sleep, and it gave Cas a deep sense of peace just watching him.

Dean Winchester was never one to relax and take it easy, but with a little unconventional training from Cas, he'd finally learned to let go.  He'd fought it every step of the way, of course, but he'd actually come to enjoy giving himself over to Cas once in a while.  They had only been at this a few weeks, but the changes in Dean extended well beyond their playtime.  He had more self-confidence lately.  He relaxed more, and he was less prone to anger and making snap decisions.  Overall, he just seemed a little less _lost_ , and Cas was so proud of him he could burst.

They were alone in the bunker today; Sam had gone out a few hours earlier to hit the library and Dean was in full-blown littlespace when he fell asleep listening to Cas tell a story. It was getting much easier for him to slip into this mindset lately, however he still had a bit of trouble snapping out of it.

Cas had dressed Dean today in a Batman logo t-shirt and comfortable knit shorts, an outfit not too unlike what he often wore to bed.  They had to be extra careful when scening at the bunker, just in case Sam should show up unexpectedly, so Cas was always cautious to cover their tracks.  He knew Sam would be home soon, but he couldn't bear the thought of waking Dean with that peaceful little smile on his lips. Still, he had worked too hard to get him to this point, and the last thing he needed was for Sam to find out about their kink habits, even if this particular one was fairly tame.  Cas couldn't care less, of course, but Dean had a surprisingly fragile ego under all that bravado, and he would be mortified if Sam found out he enjoyed reverting to a childlike version of himself.

While he had started at age four, they'd found that Dean's seemed to respond best around eight or nine years old.  It made sense, Cas decided, since that was when Dean began taking on more responsibility for his brother. For as hard as John Winchester tried, taking care of little Sammy full-time was when Dean's childhood ended.

Dean moaned in his sleep, and Cas smiled faintly as he suddenly noticed the Impala Matchbox car clenched in a loose fist.   He actually _looked_ younger when he was deep in littlespace, and even moreso when he was asleep.  Cas sighed wistfully and gave his hair a final ruffle before speaking.

"Hey, Little One," he whispered.   "Sammy will be home soon.  Would you like to go up to your bedroom and nap some more?"

Dean's eyes fluttered open,  and he moaned again.  "I'm comfortable," he whined.

"We can stay here if you'd like, but I know you don't like being little around Sammy."

"Mmmph, " Dean mumbled in annoyance.

"Tell you what, Bumblebee.  You've been a good boy today, so when you're ready to get up, we'll go to McDonald's for dinner."

Dean's eyes opened wide, and he struggled to sit up.  "Can I get a cheeseburger? "

Cas laughed out loud.   "Of course. You can get a whole Happy Meal.  Let's go put your shoes on."

Dean jumped up, but before they could go anywhere, Sam's voice rang out through the bunker.

"Dean?  Cas?   You here?"  Sam had taken the car, but there was always the possibility that Cas had zapped them somewhere.  It still felt strange seeing the two of them together.  For as long as he had suspected, he should be over it by now, but it was still a bit of a shock after years of Dean's denial.

Cas glanced at Dean worriedly. He knew there was no way he could tear Dean out of subspace this fast without risking some major subdrop. "Dee, can you put your shoes on like a big boy for me?"

Dean nodded and slowly picked up his shoes.

"Come on, Little One.   Quick like a bunny," Cas said, stalling in the doorway in case he needed to distract Sam.  Thankfully he had purchased slip-on sneakers for him when he'd bought his 'little' clothes, so it didn't take Dean long.

"Good boy, " Cas praised.  "Now give me your hand, and let's slip out before Sammy sees us, okay?"

"Sammy's not getting McDonald's?"

"Not today, baby.  Today is a special treat just for you," Cas said, feeling a bit panicked as he heard Sam getting closer.  He grabbed Dean's hand and gently pulled,  but Dean dug his heels in and stopped him.

"But Sammy needs McDonald's too," he said confusedly.

Cas sighed. "Sammy probably already had dinner.  Now come on."

Dean balked again. "No. If Sammy can't have McDonald's, I can't either."

"Dee, we need to go..."

"Maybe Sammy can just have my McDonald's..." Dean said softly.

Cas's posture suddenly softened, and his eyes welled up a little.  He'd nearly forgotten that Dean had been making sacrifices for his brother from such an early age.

"You're such a sweet boy," Cas murmured gently.   "Look, you go down to the garage, and I'll ask Sammy if he wants any McDonald's, okay?"

Dean beamed.  "Okay."

"Good boy. "

With Dean now safely out of the way, he composed himself and walked toward the library.  "In here, Sam," he called.

Sam's hulking frame appeared from around the corner.  "Hey," he greeted.   "Where's Dean? "

"He's in the garage, " Cas started.  "We're going to McDonald's.  Do you want anything? "

"Oh.  Sorry.  Guess he was really waiting for the car, huh?" Sam muttered.  Typical Dean when it came to food, he supposed.  "Nah, I'm good.  Well, wait.  Maybe a chicken caesar salad, if you don't mind."

Cas nodded.  "We'll be back in an hour or so.  I have another stop to make," he lied.

"No problem.  See ya in a bit."

Cas hurried down the stairs to the garage to find Dean sitting in the back seat, scooting his toy car along the headrest.  He couldn't help but chuckle.  Sometimes it was hard to believe that this was the same person... then again, maybe not.  Dean was still a bit childlike at heart.

"Okay, Bumblebee.  Let me buckle your seat belt. "

"Does Sammy want anything? " Dean asked, obediently sitting still as Cas secured his belt.

"Yes, baby.  He doesn't want to come,  but we're going to bring him back food, okay?"

"Okay," Dean nodded happily.

Cas sighed in relief, and climbed into the driver's seat.  He loved when Dean was deep into it, but dealing with children could sometimes be exhausting. He'd only taken Dean out once before while he was in littlespace, but he was pretty sure he could keep him under control. It was better than Sam seeing him like this.

Moments later, Dean was happily picking at his cheeseburger while Cas sipped coffee in the bright yellow booth next to him.

"Dean, " Cas said softly, only to receive a frown in response.  "I know you hate this part, but I need you to be big again, okay?"

Dean sighed and nodded, staring sullenly at his Happy Meal. "I don't want to yet."

"I know baby.  But playtime is over for now."  He gently took the toy car from his hand.   "You need to be big so that you can drive us home in the real Impala.  Sam is waiting for us."

Dean frowned again, then he scrunched his eyes closed as if he were concentrating.  "It's hard," he murmured.

"I know.  It'll get easier. Think about the bunker, and hunting, and... I don't know.  Alcohol..."

Dean nodded.   "Beer is good," he said longingly.

"Yes.  But only adults drink beer."

"I know, I know.   I'm good, Cas."  His face flushed as he suddenly realized he'd been fiddling with the toy from his meal.  He shoved it aside, and took a huge bite of his burger.   "This is still fuckin' weird," he grumbled.

"It's not weird.  And you need it.  The changes in you, Dean... you don't notice them?"

"Yeah, I do.  It's still weird."

Cas rolled his eyes.   "You're so repressed.  Sorry to drag you out of your space here," he said, glancing around at all the other people. "Figured it was better than doing it with Sam in the bunker. "

Dean sighed.  "He's gonna find out eventually.   We're going to slip up, or I won't be able to snap out of it fast enough..."

"Well we're going to try not to let that happen.  How sweet are you, offering to give little Sammy your McDonald's, anyway?"  Cas leaned in to gently nuzzle at his neck.

"Wha... oh," Dean's face reddened.

"You are so sweet and selfless..." Cas whispered, his warm breath tickling Dean's ear and making him shudder.

"Caaaas," Dean protested, his face reddening.   "Not in public!  Jesus."

Cas laughed and pulled away, but not before slipping the toy car into Dean's jacket pocket.  "Alright, fine.  Let's get going then. We have to bring back food for Sam."

::::::::::::

It didn't matter how much time passed, Dean wasn't sure he'd ever be totally comfortable talking to Sam about his relationship with Cas.  Coming to terms with being bisexual had been hard, and admitting he'd been pining over Cas for years was still a bit humiliating, no matter how supportive Sammy was.  That may have been why he was extra paranoid about their kink habits.

Still, today he was itching to scene.  He hadn't seen Cas in a few days, and the last few times, they'd been busy doing _other_ things.   While the sex was amazing,  he was embarrassed to admit that he needed littletime _too_.

"You're different lately," Sam said, pulling Dean away from his thoughts.  "I can't put my finger on what it is,  but it's... nice."

Dean shoved a plate of homemade burgers and fries at him and slumped down into the seat across from him.  "What are you talking about? " he mumbled through a mouth full of french fries.

"I don't know.   You're just more mellow.  You're focused, you seem happier.  Hooking up with Cas has been good for you, apparently. "

Dean glanced away as he felt his face burning.

"Oh stop," Sam laughed.  "You guys are adorable. If I had known you were into each other, I would have pushed you into it sooner.  Where is he today anyway?"

"He'll be here later," Dean murmured. "I think he's..."

"Hello, Dean.  Sam."

Dean spun around in his chair to see Cas standing behind him.

"Hey, Cas," Sam said cheerfully.  "We were just talking about you. "

"Oh?  Good things,  I hope?" Cas smiled warmly as he gave Dean a quick peck on the cheek.

Sam watched in amusement as Dean's eyes slipped closed and he sighed happily.  "Yeah.  I was just commenting on how much happier Dean seems lately. I don't know what you're doing to him, but keep doing it."

Cas bit back an awkward grin as he tried to contain his laughter. "Which thing?"

"Shut up, " Dean blushed.

"Don't worry, we'll be doing all of those things later," Cas winked. "So what do you two have planned for tonight?"

"Whole lot of nothing here," Sam shrugged.  "I'm probably just going to read and watch a little TV. You guys going out?"

Cas shook his head.   "We'll probably stay in and watch Netflix or something too."

Dean just continued shoveling food into his mouth as the two of them spoke. It was pretty bad when _he_ was rushing through dinner just so that he could get into littlespace faster. He didn't want to think about that too much.  He knew he was fucked up in terms of daddy issues,  but at least this was helping him work through it.

Cas and Sam continued to make small talk for a while until Dean finally interrupted.

"So are we going to go watch Netflix or what? " he asked eagerly.

Cas grinned.  "Of course. Will you excuse us, Sam? "  Dean's eyes were glazed over already in anticipation as Cas grabbed him by the arm and led him up to the bedroom.

"Little anxious tonight?" Cas asked as he closed the door.   "I just can't tell which thing you're in the mood for..." he pondered.  "Hmm.  Is it littletime? "

Dean nodded sheepishly.

Cas smiled. "I love how well you've taken to this.  Go get changed."

Without a thought, Dean rushed to his closet, throwing on his knit shorts and a t-shirt with a cartoon kitty on it.  He'd never wear that damn cat shirt out of the bedroom, but it felt okay for littletime.

"Good boy, " Cas praised him.  "Come get on the bed and we'll watch a movie.   What do you want to watch tonight?"

"Transformers," Dean said without hesitation.

Cas cued it up on Netflix and settled in next to him.  "There we go."

"This isn't it," Dean complained almost immediately.

"It's not?"

Dean shook his head vehemently.   "Transformers is a cartoon."

"Oh, right," Cas chastised himself.   "Of _course_ you want the cartoon one.  Hold on."  He fumbled with the remote control again until he found the cartoon version.  "Better?"

Dean nodded happily and rolled onto his stomach, grabbing a coloring book off the nightstand and mindlessly coloring a picture of Batman as he watched.

"Can I color with you? " Cas asked.

Dean nodded and handed him a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles coloring book, and Cas settled in next to him.

"You're so good at coloring," Cas said quietly.   He smiled as he watched Dean's face redden, and they colored in a comfortable silence for a while. "You know, you've been such a good boy lately... I got something for you," Cas said shyly.

"You did?"

"Mmmhmm."  He stood up and reached under the bed, pulling out a tall gift bag.

Dean's calm demeanor suddenly turned giddy.  "What is it?"

Cas shrugged and handed him the bag.

Tissue paper began flying as Dean dug into the package, and he simpered at the big brown teddy bear he found inside.

"Do you like it?" Cas asked nervously. He'd bought Dean toy cars and trains before, but he wasn't sure how he'd react to something cute and fluffy.

Dean nodded and squeezed it to his chest. "It's so soft," he mused.  "Comfy.  Never had one before."

"Really?"

Dean shook his head.   "I bought a little one for Sammy once.  This one smells like you," he said, taking a deep whiff and closing his eyes.

"I'm glad you like it.  You look sleepy.  Why don't we get under the blankets?  We can still watch your movie."

"Okay, " Dean agreed, cleaning up the crayons and setting them on the nightstand. Cas flipped back the covers and Dean crawled in, curling up next to him with the teddy bear tucked under his arm.

Before the movie had even ended, Dean had dozed off; he relaxed so much during littletime, it wasn't uncommon for him to fall asleep.  Cas knew he didn't dare turn off the TV though, or Dean would jolt awake and ask him to start the movie over again.  So instead, he closed his eyes and snuggled in closer, just listening to the rhythmic 'whoosh' of Dean's breathing. He hadn't been relaxing long when a sudden loud thump on the door startled him from his peaceful quiet time.  
  
"Hey Dean?"  Cas jumped, in turn jostling Dean from his comfortable slumber.  "You decent?"

"Yeah," Dean murmured automatically, wiping the sleep from his eyes.  "Oh shit, wait!" he exclaimed as he glanced around, remembering how he'd fallen asleep, but it was too late.  Sam had already flung the door open.

"I just got a lead on the..." he paused, staring in confusion at the scene in front of him.  His older brother was watching cartoons, snuggling a teddy bear, and surrounded by a pile of coloring books. "Umm.  I'll come back later," he said, almost worriedly as he turned around and slammed the door shut.

Dean, immediately snapped out of both sleep and littlespace, bolted up and threw the bear across the room.

"Fuck!  Fuck, Cas!   I told you he'd find out!" he yelled as he began pacing back and forth.   "Oh god, this was a horrible idea.  It's ridiculous!  A grown-ass man watching cartoons and playing with toys? What the hell am I thinking?  Oh fuck..."

"Dean." Cas was at his side in a second. "It's not a big deal.  Look, I'll talk to Sam. I'll straighten everything out.  He's not going to think any less of you."

Dean flopped down on the bed and stared listlessly at the ceiling as he pondered how the hell he was going to explain himself. The stupid happy cat on his shirt was taunting him so he sat up and ripped it off, tossing it in a heap on the floor.

"Dean, please.  Don't do this.  Everything will be fine,  really."  

"Cas... I can't do this anymore.  I gotta go out.  Clear my head or something," Dean fumbled.   He stood and frantically dug through his dresser for a proper shirt.

"Please don't be mad, D..."

"I'm not mad, Cas. I just... I need some time to think."  He gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and grabbed his car keys.  "I'll be back."

Cas knew there was no reasoning with him when he was upset, so he just sighed and nodded as Dean walked out the door.


	2. Chapter 2

"Look, whatever you guys do is your own business, Cas.  I don't need to know."  Sam was sitting at the kitchen table sipping his coffee, and looking a bit skittish.

"Well I didn't _plan_ on telling you, but I figured I should try to explain what you saw. For Dean, at least.  He's mortified, and it's really not a big deal.  You know how he is, though.  He'd never sleep again worrying about it."

Sam stared down at his coffee mug, trying his best to be understanding, but this was really pushing the limits of his open-mindedness.   He rubbed at his face tiredly.  "So Dean is pretending to be a child?  Is this some weird sex-kink thing?" he asked.  "Remember, _I don't need details!_ "

Cas sighed.  "No.  It's not a sex-thing!  It's exactly what you saw.  Dean gets to become his child-self, and I take care of him.  He can take a break, shut down from his adult life, and do some things he never got to do as a kid.  That's it."

"Ooookay.  But why?"

"Because your brother has more father issues than anyone I've ever seen, Sam!  He never had a childhood.  He's been raising you from the time you were born.  This has been so therapeutic for him.  It's helping him heal.  You said yourself you've noticed the changes in him, right?"

Sam nodded slowly.  "He  _has_  been happier lately.  More relaxed.  Sorry, I'm just having a hard time wrapping my head around this.  It's weird.  But like I said, whatever you guys do is your own business..."

"It's not weird!  Plenty of people engage in ageplay," Cas sighed again.  "Dean keeps saying that too.  But once he gets out of his head, he really enjoys himself, Sam.  He  _needs_  this.  And I'm afraid your finding out may discourage him from ever doing it again.  I just... I need you to be okay with it.  Or at the very least, to not make a big deal about it.

"Trust me, Cas, I'm not even going to mention it!"

Cas nodded in agreement.  "That's probably a good idea.  Still... I  _would_  like for him to eventually be less paranoid around the bunker."  He paused for a moment, and Sam's face contorted in anticipation of what he was about to ask. "We try to be careful, but if you were to see us downstairs once in a while, say in the living room, would it make you uncomfortable?"

"Uh," Sam fumbled.  "A little," he admitted.  "But I guess it's okay.  I'll just stay out of your way.  I mean, how the hell am I supposed to act around you two if you're doing..."  he paused, "... _that_?"

"Just humor him. And if you happen to run into him while he's in littlespace, call him Dee."

"Dee?  I used to call him that when I was young.  Wait, _littlespace_?" He sighed in frustration. "Cas, this is just too much."

"I know.   I'm sorry. But please..."

"Alright, alright, Cas.  I'll try.  But mostly I'm going to stay out of your way.  Where is he, anyway?"

"I don't know.  He said he needed some alone time."

"Typical Dean," Sam said, rolling his eyes.  "Have you checked the closest bar?" he asked wryly.

Cas sighed.  "I guess I should go look for him."

It was nearly two hours later when he finally found Dean.  He hadn't been at any of the local bars, as Cas had expected. He had nearly given up searching, returning home to the bunker only to find the Impala still parked in the garage.  Dean was curled up in the backseat, fast asleep, his tiny Matchbox car clutched in his hand.

"Shit," Cas whispered to himself.  It was rare he resorted to common human curses, but now seemed like a good time to use one.  Quietly, he opened the passenger side door and slid in next to him.

"Hey," he said softly as he jostled Dean's leg. "Wake up, baby."  He chose his words carefully, not quite sure if he was dealing with Dean or 'Dee'.

"Hmm?  Oh.  Hey Cas, " Dean mumbled sheepishly. "I'm sorry."

Cas frowned.   "Where  _were_  you?  You weren't here the whole time, were you?"

Dean nodded, looking away in embarrassment.   He shoved the toy car into his shirt pocket before replying.   "Yeah.  I.  Uh.  I'm not sure what happened, but my head was all fucked up.  I didn't feel like I could drive, so I just climbed into the backseat to cool off for a bit," he sighed.   "And I guess I fell asleep."

"What do you mean by 'fucked up'?   You mean angry?  Or...?"

"It was like I was still partially in littlespace!" Dean groaned. "I... I don't know how to explain it!  It was weird!"

"I'm sorry, Dean.  I never intended for Sam to find out."

"It's not your fault," Dean sighed.  "I told you, it was bound to happen."

Cas grabbed his arm and pulled him in close, letting Dean lean into his shoulder.  "Well, regardless," he said, gently kissing his forehead, "I spoke to him.  Everything is fine."

"Ohh god," Dean murmured, burying his face in Cas's neck.  "I don't know what's worse - you talking to him, or him wondering for the rest of his life."

"You're so dramatic," Cas huffed.  "Your brother is very open-minded and understanding, you know.  And don't worry, I highly doubt he'll ever mention it."

Dean nodded anxiously.  "Jesus, Cas," Dean laughed nervously.   "How do you talk me into this shit anyway?"

Cas just smiled.   "Because you love me.  I'm not sure why sometimes, but you do," he mused.   "Now come on.  Get out of the car and come back upstairs."

"I don't know if I can," Dean grimaced.  "What's Sammy doing?"

"Don't worry about Sam," Cas said.  "Come."   He opened his car door and grabbed Dean's hand, tugging until Dean relented.

Before Dean really knew what was happening, Cas was leading him up the stairs by the front of his shirt, though the library, past Sam, and all the way up to his bedroom.

"What's this about? " Dean asked as Cas closed the door behind them. "I'm not in the mood for littletime, Cas, so don't even..."

"No.  No littletime.  Right now it's adult time," Cas interrupted as he shoved him roughly against the wall.  This wasn't the first time Cas had to distract Dean from his irrational worries, and he knew exactly what buttons to push to do it.  

Dean's knees buckled as Cas began kissing up the side of his neck. He'd been with a lot of women, but he'd never felt so helpless as he did with Cas.  Even though he was still navigating his way through this new territory, all Cas had to do was suggestively wiggle an eyebrow at him and Dean was ready to throw himself at his feet. It was disconcerting, in the best possible way.

"I love adult time, " Dean breathed as Cas pulled away.

"Mmmhmm," Cas hummed.  "So take your clothes off already."

 


	3. Chapter 3

It had been three weeks since the incident with Sam, and as Cas expected, Dean wanted nothing to do with littletime.  Every time he would mention it, Dean would either snap at him or withdraw for a few hours.  It was unfortunate, because Cas could see the tension starting to seep back into him.  The boys had been taking on too many jobs and spreading themselves too thin, and it was clearly taking a toll on Dean's physical and emotional health.

Dean might be resistant, but Cas knew what was best for his boy.  And tonight, he decided, he'd had enough.   Dean was going to swallow his pride and submit one way or another.

Sam and Dean arrived home late as usual, and Cas was sure to have pizza waiting when they arrived, kept warm with the help of a little angel mojo.

"Cas, you beautiful angel, you," Sam sighed happily as he spotted the boxes on the table.  He wearily patted Cas's shoulder as he stumbled to sit down, obviously injured from today's hunt. "How did you know we'd be starving? " he asked, his mouth already full of food.

Cas shrugged sheepishly.  "Just had a feeling. You both look exhausted," he observed.  He gave Dean a quick peck on the cheek and ushered him to a chair.

"Rough day," Dean nodded.  "Fuckin' wendigo got to me.  Knocked me out and took me god-knows-where.  I woke up tied up and hanging in some cave..." He subconsciously rubbed at the purple rope marks on his wrists.  "It threw Sammy. I think he broke something, but he's being a stubborn bastard."

Cas frowned.  "What happened, Sam?"

"Nothing, Cas.  I'm fine.  Just a little sore.  Think I pulled a groin muscle, that's all."

Despite Sam's constant reassurance, Cas strolled over and touched two fingers to his forehead, and a quick flash of white light filled the room.  "Stress fracture to your pelvis," he confirmed nonchalantly.   "Better?"

Sam stood and stretched his legs.  "Yeah.  Thanks, Cas. "

For good measure,  Cas healed Dean of his bumps and bruises too, then sat down to watch them eat.  While they were physically healed, they both looked so drained and broken-down, it almost hurt to look at them.

"You're both working too hard," he said finally.

"Pssh.  What else is new?" Dean quipped. "It's kind of how we operate. "

Cas sighed impatiently.   He should be used to Dean's stubbornness by now, but it was still frustrating.

"He's right, Dean," Sam said.  "We've been taking a beating lately.  Maybe we should take a few days off, take some time to recover."

"Mmfff," Dean mumbled, his cheeks packed full of food. He paused to chew as Sam glared at him.   "Why?  This is no different than any other time.  We always run ourselves ragged like this."

"That's exactly my point.  It's been forever since we had a break."

Dean groaned around another bite of pizza.  "Fine, whatever.  Just a few days," he agreed grudgingly. "You know how restless I get when I'm cooped up too long."

"Good," Sam smiled.   "A few days will be good for both of us.  Let the vacation begin!   But for now, I'm heading to bed.   I'm wrecked.  You guys want to go for breakfast in the morning?"

"Do _I_ want to go for breakfast? " Dean scoffed. "Um, _yes_."

"Alright," Sam laughed.   "See you in the morning.  Get some rest, Dean."  He gave a quick wave and shuffled off toward the stairs.

"What about you?" Cas asked, after watching Sam tiredly hobble up to bed.   "You look tired too  Let's go upstairs.  You've been so exhausted lately... why don't you slip into your little clothes and..."

"Caaaas," Dean interrupted impatiently.   "I told you, I'm not doing that anymore."

"But you've been so stressed!  And you always feel so much better afterwards."

Dean frowned.  "Well sex is a great stress reliever too, and I feel _really_ good after that.  So let's just fuck like normal people."

Cas rolled his eyes.   "We've been 'fucking' like rabbits," he said, awkwardly making air quotes.  "And you're still stressed."

"Yeah, well sometimes that happens when you spend your life hunting down scary shit."

Cas sighed.  "Alright.  Well regardless, you're clearly tired, so why don't we head upstairs and watch Netflix in bed?"

"Yeah, okay," Dean shrugged.  "Cable blows anyway."  He stood up and flicked the television off, and followed Cas as he grabbed his hand and led him up to his bedroom.  
  
  
:::::::::::::::::  
  
  
"You getting ready for bed?" Cas asked, as he casually dug some clothes out of Dean's dresser.  He stripped off his own jackets and kicked his shoes off as he watched Dean fiddling with Netflix.

"Yeah, In a sec."

"Good," Cas grabbed the remote from his hand and tossed it on the bed.  "But how about now?"  He pulled him closer, and slowly slipped Dean's button-down shirt off of his arms, letting it fall to the floor behind him.

"Mmm.  What are _you_ up to, angel?" Dean purred.

Cas just smiled and kissed him tenderly, then began rucking his t-shirt up over his head.  He unbuttoned his jeans and tugged them down for Dean kick off, then held out a comfortable pair of shorts, motioning for him to step in.

"Oh," Dean's face fell slightly.  "You're really just helping me into my sleep clothes, huh?  Okay, okay.  Honestly, I'm too tired anyway."

Cas held out a shirt, bunching it to make it easier to put on, but Dean stopped him.

"What shirt is that?" he asked suspiciously.

"Put it on," Cas murmured, trying again to slide the shirt over his head.

"No. Cas, stop!  I don't want to wear it..." he trailed off, staring resentfully at the hugging cartoon animals.

"Dean. You need this. Please,  baby,  just put it on." He stepped closer and held the shirt out to him, and despite his complaints, Dean didn't move.

"Cas," Dean whined. "Don't make me do this..." he gave his arm a halfhearted shove as the shirt slipped down over his head.

"Come on.  Get your sleep clothes on, Dee.  Arms up for me."

"Cas, I don't want to..." His eyes were suddenly watering and he was panting fearfully. "Please don't..."

"It's okay, Bumblebee," Cas soothed.  "Just get your clothes on for me then we'll snuggle and watch cartoons, okay?"

"I don't need it," Dean rasped. "I don't want..."  He looked up at Cas with those big, watery eyes and choked back a sob.  His body went slack and Cas threaded his arms through the arm holes, then tugged it down over his torso.

"Good boy, " Cas whispered. "Come lie down."  He pulled him down onto the bed and wrapped his arms around Dean's trembling body.  "Shhhh, it's okay."

The tears were coming faster now, and Dean didn't know how to stop them.  He felt stupid and awkward and ashamed. He was a grown man!  Admitting that he needed this was ridiculous and embarrassing, and to top it off, now he was _crying_.  He fucking hated when he cried.  Crying was rarely tolerated when he was a child, but he'd never been able to help himself when tears threatened.

"I don't... don't need this," he uttered weakly, cringing as his favorite toy car was slid into his hand.  "I don't." He gripped the car tightly and buried his face as Cas wrapped him in a crushing hug.  "Fuck, why do I need this?"

"Hey," Cas said softly.  "I told you before, there's no shame in this, sweetheart. People do this for all sorts of reasons.  Everyone does what they need to do to get through life, and if this helps you, don't deny yourself."

Dean sniffled and nodded uncertainly.

"Let me take care of you," Cas whispered as he used his thumbs to wipe away the stray tears.  "Come on.  No more tears, Little One," he said as he coaxed him to a sitting position. "I bought some new DVDs.  Why don't we watch Bugs Bunny?"

"Okay," Dean managed in a strained voice.  Even on a normal day he couldn't resist the occasional Bugs Bunny cartoon, so it wouldn't be so bad.

Cas smiled warmly and kissed his forehead, then got up to set the DVD player.  "Do you want a snack?" 

"Sure."

Cas walked to the mini-fridge and pulled out a juice box, then grabbed a box of animal crackers from the nearby shelf.  He'd recently set up the refrigerator as a place to hide their little-snacks, despite Dean's protest.  Of course, once Dean realized he could also keep cold beer in his _bedroom_ , he happily agreed.

"Alright.   Scoot over, Bumblebee."  Cas climbed back into bed and handed him his treats.  Though his eyes were red-ringed and puffy, the tears had stopped, and Cas couldn't help but notice how vulnerable he looked.  He looked even younger tonight, and it made him want to hold him tightly and never let go.  Instead, he smiled warmly and ruffled Dean's hair, then drew an arm around his shoulder.  "I love you, you know."

"I love you too."  Dean snuggled in close, and he sighed contentedly as Cas started the DVD.  "Thank you, " he whispered. 

Cas hummed blissfully.   "Relax now, Dee.  You deserve it."


	4. Chapter 4

Dean awoke early, eyes still closed but definitely awake.  Something was tickling his nose, and he reached forward to swat at it in annoyance.  As his hand touched something fuzzy, he immediately he realized it was just the bow from the teddy bear Cas had bought him. He grabbed the bear, adjusted it under his chin and hugged it, breathing in deeply as he inhaled Cas's scent. Sure, he'd usually feel embarrassed hugging a stupid bear, but the damn thing was really soft and comfortable.

An arm tightened around his waist and he heard Cas's warm chuckle at the back of his neck.  He was twilighting between reality and littlespace, thinking clearly enough to snap out of it if he needed to, but still feeling small and needy tucked under Cas's arm.  He would never understand why Cas was so insistent about this, and he would sure as hell never understand why he agreed to it in the first place.   For whatever reason, it really did fill a need in him, and he was slowly starting to accept that. _Okay.  Maybe he could drift in littlespace for just a little longer..._

Cas snuggled in closer and kissed the back of his head.

"Morning, Little One."

"Mmmph, " Dean mumbled.  He had never been a morning person, and right now he was content to just lie here, feeling warm and protected with Cas and his comfy bear.

"Sammy will be waking us up for breakfast soon," Cas reminded him softly. "Do you want to put your big clothes on or are you going like this?"

"Big," Dean muttered sleepily.   "But not yet."

Cas smiled.   "Does my boy need more snuggles?"

Dean nodded.

"Turn this way, " Cas whispered.

Dean rolled over, abandoning the bear in favor of curling up close to Cas's chest, where he was wrapped in a crushing hug. He had to admit, he loved the constant cuddling. Sure, he'd always liked a _little_ snuggling, but usually it was either when he was coming down from sex or when he thought that closeness might _lead_ to sex.  This was just cuddling for the sake of comfort - it wasn't something he was used to, but damn if he didn't like it.

It wasn't long before a few loud knocks on the door jostled them from their blissful moment, and Sam's voice suddenly called out from the hallway.

"Hey.  You guys still wanna go for breakfast?"

"Be down shortly." Cas answered before Dean could even think about forming a sentence. He was never sure how Dean might react when he was startled from littlespace.  "Well, Bumblebee, want to get into your big clothes now?"

Dean let out a dramatic sigh.  "But I'm comfortable," he whined.

"Do you not want breakfast?  I can tell Sam we're not going..."

"Noooo!  I want breakfast, I'm just not ready yet."

Cas tried hard to hold back a laugh, but Dean really _did_ act like a small child sometimes, especially when he was tired.  He sighed, then kissed his forehead tenderly.  "You're not ready to get out of bed?  Or you're not ready to be big yet?"

"Neither," Dean murmured.

"You know, Dee," Cas started tentatively, "If you feel comfortable like this, you can be little today.  Sammy is okay with it."

Dean suddenly froze in place, his breath catching in his throat. _Dammit, that's right.  Sam knew._  He still couldn't believe Cas had told him.   Of course, he didn't know which was worse - telling him or letting him wonder what the hell he'd walked in on for the rest of his life. The anxiety started creeping in again, and he huffed in annoyance.

"What's wrong?" Cas whispered.

"Nothing," he managed in a strained voice. "I'm fine."

Cas sighed.   _How many times did they have to have this talk before it got through to him?_  He decided to save himself the headache today.   "Okay.  Well, whatever you decide is fine.  Either way, we should get up.  Sammy's waiting."

Dean groaned as Cas nudged him out of his nice, warm bed and marched him over to his dresser.

"I can do it," he mumbled as Cas began digging through his drawers for a shirt, but Cas continued.

"We really need to do some laundry," Cas lamented.  "How about this one?"  He held up a black tee with some cartoon-y Star Wars characters on it. It was halfway between a 'little' shirt and something he'd actually wear, and Dean wasn't sure what to say.

"Where did that come from?" he finally asked.

Cas shrugged.  "I bought it last week.  Thought you'd like it."

Dean looked at the other clean choices in his drawer and sighed.  "I guess it's okay."

Cas resisted the temptation to roll his eyes. "Good.  Finish getting dressed, Dee."

" _Dean_."

"Yes.   _Dean_ ," Cas corrected himself.  "I guess you're okay to go then?"

"I guess," he pouted.

Frustrated, Cas closed his eyes for a moment and took a long, deep breath.  Today was going to be trying, but he slapped a smile on his face anyway and led Dean down the stairs.

:::::::::::::::::::::

Dean slumped down into the diner's cracked, worn seat, still tired and grumpy from being woken and yanked out of littlespace too quickly, and Cas immediately slid in to the spot next to him, comfortingly stroking his knee as Dean fidgeted on the bench.   
  
Sam plopped down in the seat across from them, observing as his brother drummed nervously on the table.  "Are you okay?" he blurted.   Cas had asked him to drive since Dean was 'tired',  but he still felt there was something a little 'off' about Dean today.  He'd been acting strangely since he came downstairs this morning, and it was a little disconcerting.

"I'm okay.  Just tired," Dean muttered as the waitress came over to take their orders.  He ordered the biggest breakfast platter the restaurant had, but instead of digging in as usual when it arrived, he just stared at his plate and sighed.

"Hey," Cas whispered softly, trying not to get Sam's attention.  Luckily, Sam was already engrossed in the day's newspaper as he picked at his breakfast.  "You okay?"

Dean nodded and leaned into his shoulder.  He poked sullenly at his eggs and shoveled a bite into his mouth as Cas frowned.

"Are you uh...?" Cas whispered.  "Oh."  He'd seen that glazed-over look in Dean's eyes before - he was still off in littlespace.  He was being quiet and cautious, but he was in littlespace nonetheless.  Cas had a brief moment of panic as he tried to decide what to do.   He could either try to snap him out of it by talking about decidedly adult things, or he could just pretend nothing was unusual and let him come out of it on his own.  He sighed heavily.  When they started this, he knew it would be good for Dean,  but he never expected that he'd get _this_ into it.  He glanced over at Sam, who was thankfully still engrossed in the paper.

"You gonna eat your pancakes? " he asked softly. He slid Dean's plate toward him and started cutting them into bite-sized pieces.

"What are..." Sam looked up as he heard the plate slide and started to speak, but he quickly stopped himself as Cas glanced up and shot him a pleading look  "Oh..."  A million thoughts ran through his head as he sat there, silently staring at his mopey older brother who suddenly looked naive and helpless as he watched Cas cutting his pancakes.  

_Shit.  No, no, no.  There was no way he was doing this... thing... now!  Why was he doing this now?  Dean would never do this in public!  Oh fuck, I want nothing to do with this.  Whatever they do is their business.  I wanted to just stay out of the way when this happens.  Why, why, why?   I..._ He broke from his thoughts as he noticed Cas frowning at him.   _Shit_.  He promised Cas he'd just play along if this happened. _God, it was way too early for this._  He rubbed tiredly at his face and sighed.

"How are you pancakes, Dee?" he managed.

Dean froze for a moment, looking cautiously back and forth between Sam and Cas.  "...Good," he finally mumbled.

Cas let out the breath he'd been holding and he ruffled Dean's hair.   "Good.  Finish up now.  Sammy's almost done eating." 

Since Sam was at a loss for words, they finished their breakfast in an awkward silence.  He felt weird, and uncomfortable, and just a tad freaked out.  He'd spent his entire life looking up to Dean, the stoic big brother who rarely showed signs of weakness. It suddenly reminded him that underneath the tough exterior, Dean was always just a scared kid too -  a kid that had to grow up way too fast.  While other kids were laughing and playing hide and seek, he was busy cooking dinner and protecting his baby brother from monsters.  

While it was true that they'd both had a less than ideal childhood, Dean always tried to make Sam's as normal as possible.   He made sure he had Christmas and birthday presents.  He helped him with his homework and took care of him when he was sick.  Until this very moment,  Sam had always felt that they shared the same crappy life experience, but the truth was, Dean had it far worse.   _He'd_ had Dean, but Dean had been completely on his own, and raising a child while he was still a child himself.  Of course he knew that, but he never stopped to think about how all of this might have affected him.   Dean was always so good at hiding his fears and worries, that it was easy to forget sometimes. He covered his mouth as a sob threatened to escape his throat, and quickly excused himself. 

In the solitary quiet of a bathroom stall, Sam sat and rubbed at his eyes, trying to stop the tears before they could start.  He failed miserably, and two hot tears welled over, starting a chain reaction as they spilled down his cheeks.  Sighing, he blotted them away with a scrap of scratchy toilet paper.   When he was sure they had finally stopped, he stepped out and splashed his face with cold water at the sink.  Checking to make sure he didn't _look_ like he'd been crying, he stared at himself in the mirror for a moment and took a deep breath.   Okay.  This was still a bit weird to him, but if Dean needed this, well... the least he could do was try to be understanding.   After all, it _did_ seem to be helping.  With a final glance, he faked a smile and headed back into the diner.

Cas was staring at him with a look of concern as he slid back into the booth, but Sam just shook his head to dismiss him.   

"You almost ready, Dee? " he asked.  "I've got a lot of research to do today, and you two probably want to get home."   He motioned for the waitress to bring their bill as Dean nodded uncertainly.


	5. Chapter 5

Cas was still seeing improvement in Dean on a daily basis, but some days were more difficult than others.  Dean's penchant for getting lost in subspace meant that he had to be extra vigilant - no playtime on hunt days, and no triggers around the house that might set him off.  Toys and treats were hidden for designated littletime only, which Dean seemed to need about twice a week.  
  
Though Cas tried to keep this part of their lives away from Sam, occasionally littletime spilled outside of the bedroom - unfortunately Dean was still no better at 'turning off' than when they started.  He adjusted better when he was allowed to come out of it on his own, however, so Cas tried not to rush him.  Now that Sam was tentatively on board, he could let him gradually come down, even when they were in the bunker.  It had only happened a few times so far, but true to his word, Sam was trying his best to understand and cope with this new situation.    
  
  
"Hey Bumblebee, " Cas murmured, wrapping him in a hug from behind.   "We have to go to the store today, remember?  Sammy asked us to go pick up some supplies.  Do you want to go like this?"  he asked gently.

"No," Dean sighed.

"Okay.  So you'd like to be big?"

"Yes, but not right now."

Cas smiled.   "What do you suggest we do then?" he asked.

Dean shrugged.  "Can we go later?  I'm hungry.  I want cereal."

"Well," Cas said slowly,  "We don't have any cereal up here.   We'll have to go downstairs if you want cereal.  Is that okay?"

Dean stared back at him for a moment, torn between wanting breakfast and wanting to avoid Sam, but eventually, his appetite won.  "Okay," he finally agreed.

"Let's go then."  Cas could tell Sam was already awake by the smell of coffee brewing. Though angels didn't eat, Cas had developed a fondness for a strong, black cup of coffee over the years, so he was extra pleased when Dean agreed to go.  He took his hand and led him down the stairs, hoping Sam would get the hint from his cartoon bunny shirt that it was playtime.  
  
"Hey Cas, De...ee," Sam corrected himself quickly, noticing the timid, vulnerable look on his brother's face. "What's up?"  He was leaning against the counter, impatiently waiting for his coffee to brew when he noticed them come into the kitchen.  Almost immediately he could tell Dean was in subspace, and he softened his tone of voice as if talking to a frightened animal.

"We just came down for some cereal," Cas winked.

"Oh.  Uh.  Okay.  Hey, you're in luck.  I bought Lucky Charms last week just for you," Sam fumbled, reaching into the cupboard to grab it.  Usually when he did the shopping, he made Dean suffer with healthy cereals, but as he stood there in the cereal aisle, something came over him.  For all the times Dean went without while he gave his baby brother the last of the Lucky Charms, it was the least he could do.  Dean froze as Sam handed him the box, his eyes wide and almost fearful, but Sam shoved it into his hands anyway.

"It's okay, Dee," he said softly.  "Let me get you a bowl.  Sit."  He ruffled Dean's hair playfully and returned to the cupboard.   "So what are you guys up to today?" he asked.

"We're going to go make that supply run whenever Dee's ready," Cas said.  "Do you want to come with us?"

"Sure."  Sam plopped a bowl and spoon down on the table and poured some cereal.  He picked up the milk and dumped some on, then slid the bowl over to Dean.  "I was thinking about going anyway," he said as he sat down across from them.    "You know how I'm kind of picky about my produce..."  He paused, glancing at Cas self-consciously.  "What?"

Cas was grinning like a lunatic as he slightly tilted his head toward Dean, who was happily munching away at his cereal.  "Thank you," he mouthed.

"Oh."  Sam felt his face flush.  He hadn't even thought about it, but pouring Dean's cereal for him just felt right.  And he had just _ruffled his_ _hair_.  He wasn't sure if he'd _ever_ done that, aside from maybe while giving noogies as a kid.  This had only happened a few times since he found out, and he was surprised at how easily he'd been able to accept this arrangement. It still felt strange, but he had to admit, Dean was definitely benefiting from this.  If this made his brother happy, then he could manage.   To be honest, he kind of liked taking care of him.  Dean was never the type to admit when he needed help, so it was kind of refreshing for a change.  He still acted jumpy and skittish whenever Sam was around, but slowly, he seemed to be getting better.  
  
"I'm going to watch cartoons in the living room, " Dean suddenly announced.

"Okay," Cas agreed.   "Bowl in the sink first."

Dean nodded and took his dirty dish to the sink and turned back toward the living room.  "I think G.I. Joe is on," he said quietly.   "If you wanna watch it, Sammy."

Sam looked up from his coffee in wide-eyed surprise.   "Yeah.  Uh, sure, Dee. Go on ahead, I'll be there in a minute."  He waited until Dean was well out of the room before speaking again.

"That's the first time he's really spoken to me," he mused.

"He's finally getting more comfortable around you," Cas smiled.  "Thank you again, Sam.  I know you think this is weird, but..."

"No, no" Sam interrupted.  "It's okay.  I  _did_ think it was weird at first, but I kinda get it now. I mean, with Dean,  there's a reason he needs this.  And if reverting to his childhood every so often helps... I guess it's not so weird."

Cas beamed.   "I knew you would understand.  It's helping,  right?"

Sam nodded.   "Yeah.  It really is.  He's so much more relaxed. He even seems more... I don't know. I feel like he's even opening up more when he's _not_ in this state."

"You know, " Cas started, "If you ever feel like you need this too..."

"No!" Sam exclaimed.  "Uh.  Sorry.  I mean, I'm okay.   Thanks, Cas."

"I mean it, Sam.  I know you had Dean when you were younger,  but that doesn't make up for not having a parent around.  Your issues are different than Dean's, but that doesn't make them less important."

"Uh.  Really, I'm... I'm okay," Sam stuttered nervously.

Cas nodded and took something out of his pocket.  "Well, the offer stands." He set a tiny Matchbox car on the table and rolled it across to Sam.  "Better hurry or you'll miss G.I. Joe," he winked.   "I swear he has the Retro Cartoon channel's schedule memorized." He stood and turned toward the door, motioning for him to follow.

Sam wasn't sure why he was feeling so embarrassed by that conversation but he was sure his cheeks were flaming. _The way Cas just casually suggested he..._   He quickly pocketed the toy car and headed to the living room.

"It's almost over," Dean greeted them sullenly. He was sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table, mindlessly rolling his car back and forth.

"I'm sorry, Bumblebee.   I just needed to talk to Sammy for a minute."

"Bumblebee?" Sam murmured, but Cas quickly hushed him.

Dean shrugged.   "At least you're in time for Transformers."

Cas grinned at Sam as they each sat down on opposite ends of the couch. "Thank goodness."

As Dean crawled over and leaned his head on Cas's knee, Sam couldn't help but watch from the corner of his eye.  It was so weird to see his brother being affectionate.  He was usually so walled off, it was hard for him to even _talk_ about his feelings.  Even though he and Cas had been seeing each other for a while now, they never acted couple-y around him.  There were no little public displays of affection or cute nicknames.  If Dean hadn't fessed up to it, Sam never would have known they were a _thing_. He'd suspected for years, of course.  They did seem much closer than most friends, but over the years, he'd just accepted that was their dynamic.  But as he sat there, silently watching Cas stroke Dean's hair, he realized just how deep that relationship was.  The fact that Dean trusted him enough to let his guard down like this... well, it was pretty fucking amazing. 

"Maybe we should just stay in today," Sam said softly. He couldn't bear the thought of breaking up this rare moment of blissful quiet.

"Fine by me, " Cas said. "What do you think,  Dee?"

Dean nodded happily, never taking his eyes off the screen.  "Transformers is starting," he whispered. 

Sam grinned and settled back in his seat, making himself a bit more comfortable. He hadn't watched cartoons in ages but he felt a bit nostalgic as that old familiar theme song played.  He thought about all the times he and Dean would watch cartoons from shitty hotel rooms.  Half the time there was no cable, so they'd be static-y and distorted, and Dean would mess with the rabbit ear antennas for hours to make Sam happy. 

He didn't mean to stare, but he just couldn't stop stealing glances.  Dean looked so small and vulnerable when he was in this state of mind.  Part of him wondered if his brother had ever done this with Mom. He could just picture little Dean, curled up next to her on the couch, watching cartoons as she stroked his hair.  Another wave of sadness overcame him as he thought about it - not only for Dean, but also for himself. 

"Did you see my car?" Dean suddenly asked. He was looking up at Sam expectantly as he held up his mini Impala. 

"Oh!" Sam squeaked in surprise.   He took the toy from Dean's hand and examined it.  "Wow.  It looks just like the real Impala,"he said. "That's pretty cool, Dee."  He handed it back as Dean beamed.  "Oh, here."  Sam fished the other Matchbox car out of his pocket and handed it to him as well.

"A '64 GTO!" Dean exclaimed.  "I don't have this one yet. Thanks."  Almost immediately, his face reddened as he realized he'd been a little too talkative, and he slowly inched away.

Cas just smiled and leaned forward to kiss the top of his head.  "It's okay," he whispered. "Good boy.  You're allowed talk to Sammy, you know."  
  
"I know," Dean mumbled.  "...can we go back upstairs now?" he asked sheepishly.    
  
Cas looked at Dean, who was suddenly red-faced and avoiding eye contact as he usually did when he was overwhelmed.  "Yeah," Cas said quickly.  "We can go upstairs.  You did good today, Bumblebee.  C'mon."  He stood and offered Dean a hand up.  Glancing at Sam, Cas shrugged and mouthed the word 'sorry' before leading Dean back up to his bedroom.  


	6. Chapter 6

_6:03 a.m._

The alarm clock's red numbers were taunting him as Dean rubbed at his eyes.   It had been a long time since he'd seen six a.m.  He hadn't slept well, and it appeared he was never going to if his brain wouldn't just shut up already.  Cas was snuggled in close to his chest and Dean hugged him a little tighter for comfort. He couldn't stop thinking about yesterday afternoon, and how he'd acted downstairs.  Jesus, what Sam must think of him.  He was _supposed_ to be the older brother.  All his life, he was supposed to be an example for Sammy, be strong for Sammy. The fact that Sam had seen him acting so vulnerable was making his skin crawl today.  The more he thought about it, the more embarrassed he felt.

On the bright side,  Sam seemed completely fine with the whole thing. He hadn't looked at him strangely, or cracked a joke - He had even been _encouraging_ it, and Dean didn't quite know what to make of that. _Dammit, he wished Cas had never even brought this up.   He was doing just fine before all of this!_

"Dean?"  Cas's voice suddenly tore him from his self-pity. "You didn't sleep much.  What are you thinking about?"

Dean just shook his head   "Same old shit, Cas.  Nothing new."

Cas sighed deeply and propped his head up to stare at him. "Dean Winchester," he admonished.  "Are you seriously doubting your masculinity again?  Usually I'd remind you that your ideals on gender are just man-made concepts... but if I'm being completely honest, you are the complete embodiment of raw, rugged masculinity," he purred.   "Have you not noticed how people are drawn to you like flies? "

"Caaas. .." Dean protested.

"Shhh."  Cas continued.  "This chiseled jawline...   The way you get that sexy five o'clock shadow even when you've just shaved..."  He hooked a leg over Dean's hips and settled on top on him, kissing each place as he spoke.  "These sharp cheekbones... And these strong, broad shoulders..."

"Cas..."

"You know what else is attractive?   The way you work with your hands," Cas hummed as he continued kissing his way down his body.  "The way you take care of your car... the way you handle yourself around creatures that would send most men running.  Mmmm.  You don't even know what you do to me, Dean."

"Fuck, Cas," Dean whispered as Cas slowly began removing his shorts.

Cas gave him a sly smile and backed up to remove his own clothing before kneeling on the bed next to him.

"What are you doin'?" Dean asked breathlessly.

Cas just smirked and lowered his cheek to the pillow, raising his ass in the air. He raised an eyebrow as if to challenge him, and Dean lunged forward with a wildly sexual growl.  Immediately, he was on top of him, kissing and sucking at his shoulder and neck.

"Goddammit, you always know exactly what to do to snap me out of it, don't you?" he rasped.

Cas chuckled as he looked over his shoulder.  "Mmmhmm.  You're easy.  Now take me."

A half hour later, sweaty, panting, and exhausted, Dean crashed down on the bed next to him, desperately scooping Cas up in his arms.

"That was so fucking hot," he panted.  "I love when you go all submissive on me...."  He bit down on his bottom lip, moaning a little as Cas nibbled at his collarbone.

"I know.  And I love how you get all dominant and toppy when we have sex."

Dean let out a lazy little laugh and squeezed him tighter.  "Toppy?  Where did you even learn that word?  God, I used to think you were so naive."

Castiel huffed and gave his shoulder a little shove.  "I told you.  I'm very old, Dean.  I know things you've never even  _dreamed_ about. Plus, I learned way more than I ever _wanted_ to know about some things when Metatron dumped that knowledge into my head."

"Yeah?  What other kinky things do you know about?" Dean asked slyly.

Cas grinned.  "We'll save those for another time.  For now, we should head downstairs. Sam's probably waiting.  Aren't you two supposed to go on a hunt today? "

"Ugh,"  Dean groaned.  "I _really_ don't want to face him just yet."

"Why?"

"...Seriously?"  He gave Cas his best 'wtf' face and sighed.  "I... I actually talked to him when I was like... _you know_.  I mean, at least the few other times we've been around him, I pretty much kept to myself."

Cas smiled softly as he caressed Dean's cheek.  "Dean.  He's your brother, and he loves you.  He just wants you to be happy.  The fact that you're opening up to him a little is a good thing.  Trust me, he's not going to bring it up.  Now come on," he said, sitting up and tugging at Dean's wrist.  "Let's go shower, and then we'll go face him together, alright?"

Dean sighed and conceded.  After all, showering with Cas seemed like a pretty good reason to crawl out of bed.

::::::::::::::::::::::::

Sam was in his usual spot in the library, tapping away at his laptop when they finally came fumbling down the stairs. He glanced up and stared for a moment, cautiously deciding if he would be dealing with Dean or Dee before speaking.

"Cas," he nodded in greeting.  "Hey Dean, we should be heading out soon.  This place is about a three hour drive from here.  I made breakfast.  It's warming in the oven.  Coffee's on too, Cas."

"Thanks," Dean mumbled, still embarrassed, but also thankful that Sam was acting like nothing had happened. He hurried off to the kitchen with Cas in tow, suddenly aware of just how hungry he was. After yesterday's ordeal, he'd stupidly spent the rest of the day hiding out in his bedroom.  His stomach felt like it was gnawing at itself  as it growled angrily. 

The smell of homemade waffles hit him as soon as he stepped into the kitchen and he inhaled deeply.  Inside the oven was a tray of bacon, scrambled eggs, and Sammy's famous Belgian waffles.  They were probably some organic, whole-grain shit knowing Sam, but when he heaped them with butter and syrup, they tasted pretty damn good.

"You sure you don't want some, Cas?" he asked as he reached in the cupboard for a plate. "I wish you could taste this because Sam's waffles are _awesome_."

Cas smiled and shook his head.   "No thank you.  Eat up.  You're probably starving by now."  He poured himself a cup of coffee and watched in amusement as Dean loaded up his plate, drowning his food in sugary syrup and a massive amount of butter. "So you're okay?" he asked quietly.

Dean sighed and shrugged.  "So far so good I guess.  Unless he says something about..."

"He won't."  Cas slipped his free arm around Dean's waist and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.  "Come on." He took his hand and led them back to the library.

"So get this," Sam greeted them.  "Apparently someone violently died in the house we're headed to. It _might_ just be a restless spirit we're dealing with."

"Yeah?  Any idea where they're buried?" 

"Still working on it.  Might have to hit the local library when we get there," Sam said, his excitement not quite lost on Dean.   "I spent all night filling salt rounds, so we should be good."

Dean nodded and stuffed a huge bite of waffle into his mouth.  "Thanks, Sammy.  I got it next time."

"No worries."  Sam continued pecking away at his keyboard, glancing up occasionally in amusement as Dean inhaled his food. "You starving or what?"

"A little, " Dean mumbled through a mouthful of eggs.

Sam just shook his head and chuckled.  "That's what happens when you hide out in your bedroom all day."

Almost immediately, Dean's face reddened.   "Sammy, I..."

"No," Sam stopped him.  "Don't.  We don't have to talk about it if it makes you uncomfortable.  Just... don't worry so much,  alright?  Everything's fine.  Really.  And for fuck's sake, don't go starving yourself."

Dean let out a nervous little huff of air and nodded.   _Fuckin' hell, he had the best brother in the world._ "I'll try," he breathed as Cas gave his knee a reassuring squeeze.

"So, what are you up to today, Cas?  You're welcome to come along if you want," Sam asked, stealthy changing the subject.

"I have some angel business to attend to.  I'll be back this evening.   But call me if you need me."

Sam nodded.  "Will do.   Ready, Dean?"   
  
Dean stood and grabbed his jacket, and began fumbling for his car keys.  "Yeah.  Let's roll."  He turned to Cas.  "You'll be here later?"  
  
"Of course."  Cas picked up Dean's plate with one hand and caressed his cheek with the other before giving him another quick kiss.  "Call me when you're on your way home."  
  
Dean blushed as usual, but nodded.    
  
  



	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, guys. I've been slacking a little. Mostly because, um, TORONTO SUPERNATURAL CONVENTION this past weekend! I think I died a dozen times... Oh, ye gods, I thought Jensen would make me all stupid and fangirl-y but I was okay. And then... holy *shit*, Jared. Holy shit. I mean, I love them all, but Jared left me stuttering and shaky for a half hour afterward. Good lord. I am a grown woman! WTF is wrong with me?

The ride home was quiet.   As the Impala crept down a winding dirt side road, the brothers stared silently ahead, a habit not entirely unusual for them after a hard day's work.  Dean was exhausted, drumming gently on the steering wheel to keep himself awake, when Sam finally spoke.

"Well _that_ was interesting."

Dean snorted.  "You can say that again."

"You were like a man possessed tonight. Is everything okay?  What's going on with you?"

"What?" Dean frowned.   "A guy can't slay a dozen vamps without something being wrong?"   They'd come to town seeking a possible restless spirit, but that ended up being the least of their worries.  As Sam was asking around town about other suspicious activity, it became glaringly obvious there was more than one creepy crawly lurking, and by the end of the night, they'd not only taken care of the spirit, but an entire nest of vampires as well.  

"I don't know," Sam mused.  "You just seemed a bit more aggressive than usual."

Dean shrugged.  "Just doing my job."  He snapped the radio on for some noise to fill the silence as he stared guiltily ahead.  He _had_ been a little out of control tonight.  Those nagging thoughts were still running through his subconscious from earlier, and he knew he'd been trying to prove something to himself.  They drove the rest of the way home without another word, the strains of Led Zeppelin easing the tension between them until Sam finally curled up against his door and slept.

:::::::::::::::

"Hello, Dean.  Sam."   
  
Before they could even step through the door, Cas sprung into action, tearing at Dean's bloody shirt as he tried to examine him for injuries.  "What happened?   Why didn't you call me?"  He raised two fingers and touched them to Dean's forehead, and the room lit up with a flash of white light.

"Cas!" Dean exclaimed, shoving his hands away.  "I'm fine!  It's just a little vamp blood.  Will you just let us through the doorway already?  Overprotective bastard," he muttered.

Cas frowned and took a step back, finally allowing them to enter the room.  "Vampire blood?  Weren't you going after a restless spirit?"

"Pshh," Dean huffed.  "We  _were_.  It's a long story.  I'll tell you later."

Cas nodded, looking relieved.  "Sam, you're okay?" he asked, finally taking his eyes off of Dean long enough to check Sam for injuries as well.

"I'm fine, Cas," Sam smiled. "Just a little blood spatter from Van Helsing over there," he mumbled, rolling his eyes.

"Hmmph."  Cas was still frowning as he stared at Dean.  "You look agitated," he said finally.  "Why don't you go clean up and get into your little clothes and we'll..."

"No!  Fuck, Cas!  I can't go acting like a fucking kid every time I have a rough day.  Hell, this whole 'little' thing is half the reason I'm doubting myself right now!" Dean blurted, his face immediately reddening at the outburst.  It wasn't like him to admit to weakness, and goddammit, he didn't even mean to say anything.  

Despite the fact that Dean was covered in vampire blood, Cas stepped forward and drew him in for a crushing kiss while Sam pretended not to notice.

"Cas..." Dean protested as he pulled away.

"Dean.  I can smell the blood of at least a dozen vampires on you.  Did your little experiment not convince you of your abilities?  Did you not feel like the alpha male you are?  Because I've told you before, no one thinks any less of you for this.  Right, Sam?" Cas asked, turning around and staring earnestly as Sam froze like a deer in the headlights.

"Y...yeah.  Of course not, Dean," Sam fumbled.   Not that he didn't mean it, but he was totally unprepared to get dragged into this right now.

Dean huffed and shook his head.  "I'm gonna go shower."  He spun around and headed toward the stairs.

Sam and Cas stared after him.  "Sorry, Sam," Cas said softly.   "I shouldn't have dumped that on you.  He's just so..."  He sighed.  "He's so happy and carefree when we're alone, and so uptight when you're around.   Every time he takes one step forward, he takes two steps back.  It's not like I want him to do this in public all the time or anything.  I just want him to be comfortable enough that he doesn't go into a meltdown if you happen to see him."

Sam nodded.  "That's Dean for you.  He's never been good with emotions, Cas.  And I'm sure this is dredging up a lot of old memories and stuff, you know?"

"Yeah," Cas sighed.

Sam sat there in silence for a few moments as a million thoughts raced through his head, but one thing kept repeating over and over:  _Dean needed this._  "Maybe I can help," he said finally.

"How?"

"Look," Sam said, taking a deep breath.  "I'm not sure I totally get this whole thing, but what if I um...  Pretended to be little too?"

Cas's squinted and tilted his head as he generally did when he wasn't sure about something.  "I can't ask you to do that, Sam.  I know this isn't your thing and it's not going to work if you're not really into it."

"I...I know," Sam stammered.  "But it's obvious how much Dean benefits from this.  If I'm the only thing making him nervous then... I... I want to help," he finished awkwardly.   "I can do this, Cas.  Dean took care of me when I was a kid, but as adults we've always taken care of each other.  Whatever he needs, I can do it."

Cas stood there silently, staring at him as if he were peering into his very soul.  Hell, for all Sam knew, maybe he was.   "You'd... "  Cas paused to think, struggling to find the right words.   "You can't just _pretend_ , Sam.  You have to get completely out of your own mind and into the mindset of a child.  He'll be able to tell if you're faking," Cas said.  "Are you familiar with BDSM practices?  Dominants and submissives and things like that?"

Sam's jaw dropped, mostly at the revelation that Castiel, angel of the Lord, even knew what BDSM was.  "Um.  Kind of.   _Why_?"

"It's like that in a way, except there's nothing kinky about it - It's like I'm playing the Dominant and your brother is the submissive.   Both partners try to get into the mindset of someone else.  And sometimes, you get so into it that it becomes... like an alter-ego.    It's a fantasy world, where you're still yourself, but maybe focused on one or two exaggerated aspects of your personality.  You're still cognizant of everything that's happening, and at the same time, you give in and let the other persona take over.  It's very freeing."

"Okay..."  Sam said slowly.

"Most people can quickly turn it on and off, but others need a little time to snap out of it.  So far, Dean is having trouble turning it off - which is why I want him to be comfortable around you, just in case we're ever interrupted.   But..." he shrugged weakly.  "No offense, Sam, but I don't know if you and I can pull it off.  There's a huge level of trust between partners to engage in this sort of thing and, while of course I consider you family, you and I have never been close in the way that Dean and I are.  Do you think you can trust me enough to let me take control of you for a while?   I'm not cruel or strict, however, I _do_ require complete obedience," he said matter-of-factly.

Sam could feel his face flaming at the frank nature of Cas's words.   _Obedience?_  His heart was pounding in his chest already.

"I'm the parental figure in this game.  You, like Dee, would be the child," Cas continued.  "When he reverts back, he gets into an 8-year-old's mindset.  My other concern is that if you're little too, he might feel like he has to take care of you again."

Sam nodded slowly.  He was four years old when Dean was eight.  It was entirely possible that he might feel he had to look after his baby brother, and that would ruin the point of giving him his childhood back.  Sam swallowed hard.  "What if... What if I just become the _big_ brother?  Or the same age?  I mean... would that be so bad?  It wouldn't be much different than the other day, really.  I can uh.  You know, help him get his cereal and... um... I don't know..."

"Reverting to an older age..."  Cas mused.  His eyes closed as he thought about it, trying to let the scenario play out in his mind.  "I don't know.  We could try it.  Do you really think you're able to do this, Sam?  You certainly don't have to."

Sam jumped as he heard the bathroom door open, and he glanced up to see Dean hurrying off his bedroom, likely to sulk.  The slam of the door confirmed his suspicions.

"Yeah," Sam breathed anxiously.  "Yeah. I can do this.  Whatever Dean needs."

"Sam,"  Cas walked up to him, edging in dangerously close.  "You are a wonderful brother to put his needs first.  But this isn't just about what Dean needs," he said, touching a hand to his cheek.  He stared into Sam's eyes long enough to make him uncomfortable, and Sam had the vague suspicion that he was looking into his soul again. "It's about what _you_ need too."

Sam blinked hard and shook his head.  "No.  No,  I'm okay, Cas. But I'll do this for De..."

"You're as stubborn as he is. If you're going to do this, you need to admit what you need, and willingly submit to me."  Cas's voice was even and smooth, without a trace of the anxiety that was rattling Sam's.

His heart was pounding faster now, and Sam felt as if he'd just come back from a good run.  He didn't _need_ this.  What the hell was Cas talking about?  Just because he never really had parents didn't mean...

"Now,"  Cas waved his hand toward the bathroom, letting a tiny bit of white light spill from his palm.  "Dean will be hiding out for a while, I'm sure, so go take your shower.  There are clothes on the counter for you.  Once you put them on, come down to the living room and we'll have a trial run.  While you're in littlespace, you'll be referred to as 'Sammy', among other pet names.  Hmm.  I call Dee 'Bumblebee'... I'm going to need a cute pet name for you too..."

"Uhhh," Sam wiped his hand over his face to conceal the blush creeping up his cheeks again.   _Oh god, what was he getting himself into?_

"Hmmm," Cas pondered.  "I think you're more of a 'Tiger'..."  He nodded.  "Yes.  That will do.  Now, go on," he urged, pointing up the stairs.

Sam walked away in stunned silence, wondering what the hell he was thinking.  Was he really going to do this?   _Could_ he do this?  This was way more complex than he originally thought.  He really should have done some research on this whole age-play thing first. 

He trudged to the bathroom and took a quick shower, berating himself the entire time for even questioning this.   _He_  certainly didn't need this sort of therapy.  _His_ childhood had been fine...ish.  Well, it wasn't as bad as his brother's. 

 He didn't care what Cas said - this was about _Dean_ , not him.    Dean had made sacrifices all his life for him, and right now, he was going to do his best to repay him.  Yes, he decided.   He could do this.   _For Dean._

He stepped out of the shower and reached for a fluffy towel, wiping himself dry as he stared at the pile of clothes on the counter.  SpongeBob boxer shorts, a t-shirt with a cutesy cartoon turtle on it,  and a pair of jogging pants.   Could be worse, he reasoned.  He slipped into the outfit and stared at himself in the mirror for a moment. 

"Here goes nothing, " he muttered, just before heading back downstairs. 

Cas was waiting in the living room as promised when he arrived, and he greeted him with a gentle hug.  

"Hey, Sammy," he said softly.   "Good job taking your shower.  Are you hungry?  It's almost bedtime, but we can have a snack and play first if you'd like."  

"Uhhh.  I'm not really tired yet, so..."  Sam started awkwardly. 

"Don't be silly," Cas interrupted.   "You've had a long day, and little boys shouldn't be up this late anyway.  But you didn't answer my question."

"Oh.  Uh.  Sure?  I could use a snack I guess."

Cas beamed.   "Good.   Why don't you sit down and color for a bit, while I get your treat?"  He pointed to the coffee table where a big pile of coloring books and crayons lay.  

Sam shrugged and sat down on the couch with a 'farmyard animals' coloring book and a box of crayons,  curling his long legs under him.  He waited for Cas to leave the room before sighing heavily.  Okay, this _was_ weird.  Maybe Cas was right.  They definitely weren't as close as he and Dean were.  Maybe they couldn't pull this off after all.   

Cas returned a few minutes later with a plate of cookies and a glass of milk, setting it on the table next to him.  

"Here you go, " he smiled.   "I made them myself." 

"Thanks," Sam murmured, looking down at his book.

Even Cas, who was not always good at reading human emotions,  could sense Sam's obvious discomfort, so he decided he might need a little help. "What did you like when you were eight, Sammy?" he asked.  "What kind of things did you like to do?  What cartoons did you watch?  What was your favorite food?"

Sam picked up a cookie and took a bite, humming gratefully for the prompt as he thought about it. 

"I had hundreds of little green army men. And Legos.  I loved building things. Oh and I always had my nose in a book.  I ate cereal and watched cartoons with Dee.  I don't know.   I was a boring kid."

"What show did you always make Dee watch, even though he hated it? " Cas asked, suddenly remembering discussion he'd had with Dean. 

Sam immediately grinned.   "Thundercats.  I loved it.   He thought they were creepy," he laughed.  "Creepy Cat People, he called them." 

Cas smiled as he felt the memory wash over Sam.  "What did he get you for Christmas when you were a kid?"

"A Barbie," he rolled his eyes.   "I don't know where he stole it from, but apparently he took some wrapped gifts from somewhere.  Wanted me to have something to open _from Dad_  on Christmas one year when he didn't show up..." he trailed off.  "I knew it was from him though.  I remember the look on his face as he realized he'd grabbed a 'girl' gift.  He wanted so much for me to have a decent Christmas."

Cas nodded sadly.  "He's always been such a sweet boy..."  

"The best," Sam agreed. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying harder to put himself into that mindset.  

"Let's try something else, " Cas said, gently tugging on his sleeve.  "On the floor," he instructed,  taking the coloring book from his hands.  Sam sat cross-legged in front of the coffee table, as Cas had motioned.   

The pile of coloring books was snatched up, and Cas replaced them with a translucent white ice cream pail as he looked at Sam expectantly.   "Go on," he said. 

Tentatively, Sam opened the lid, smiling as he realized the bucket was full of tiny Legos.  "Awesome, " he murmured sheepishly. 

Cas grinned and sat down across from him.  "Let's build a castle."

Sam picked up a few pieces and started fitting them together, humming softly to himself.  It didn't matter how old he was, building with Legos was still relaxing.  He only had a small sandwich bag full as a kid, since Dad discouraged too many physical possessions - a consequence of basically living out of a car.  Still, when he needed something to focus on, building with Legos calmed him.  He had to admit, sitting here with the old toys  _did_ make him feel like a kid... Nostalgia was a funny thing.    
  
Within a half hour, he and Cas had the foundation of a basic castle built.    
  
"You're so good at building, Sammy!" Cas praised.  "Tell you what.  You keep working, and I'm going to go see if I can get Dee to come downstairs, okay?"  
  
Sam nodded nervously.  "Okay."  He continued building his castle alone, working faster as he grew more anxious.  He sat there for what felt like hours before a voice finally broke the silence.    
  
"Hey, Sammy.  Can Dee build with you?"  



	8. Chapter 8

"Hey, Dee.  Yeah, come build," Sam said.  He knew he wasn't quite selling it yet, but dammit, he was trying.  As he caught a glimpse of Dean's Ninja Turtle slippers, he couldn't help but smile to himself.  Dean really _did_ look so much younger when he was in littlespace.  He looked so naive - not at all like a man who had just violently slaughtered a dozen vampires.  Just seeing him looking so wide-eyed and innocent sent goosebumps up and down his arms.   _This_ was the reason he was doing this.  For innocence lost.  For _Dean_.

"Come on," he urged, motioning for Dee to sit across from him.  "I'm almost done but it needs more details."  He shoved a pile of Lego bricks across the table to his slightly timid brother.   "You work on that side."

Dee nodded.  "Okay," he said uncertainly.

They both worked silently for a few minutes, and Cas took a seat on the couch as he quietly observed.  Sam was looking rather comfortable, all things considered, and Cas couldn't be prouder of him for trying.  He knew Sam wasn't letting go enough to get into littlespace just yet, but slowly, he was getting there.  Dean still wasn't talking, though he looked deep in concentration as he added turrets to their castle.

"Want a cookie?" Sam asked, breaking the silence between them.  He slid the plate over to Dean and offered him his untouched glass of milk.

"Thanks, Sammy."  Dean shoved a whole cookie into his mouth, his cheeks puffing out like a chipmunk, and Sam grinned.   _Some things never changed._ They continued building, still wordlessly, but working together now as they put the finishing touches on their castle.

The atmosphere was slowly changing, becoming more relaxed, and Cas pulled his legs up onto the couch as he made himself more comfortable.  Sam was suddenly looking younger too, and Cas sighed happily as the boys began chattering back and forth, completely oblivious to his presence.

"I'll go get the GI Joes to defend the castle."

"No, they're too big.  Get the army men."

"How can we make a catapult?"

"Wait, who's going to be the enemy?  The Transformers or the Ninja Turtles?"

Though he had planned to send them off to bed soon, Cas couldn't help but let them play for a while.  He'd seen this side of Dean before, but he really hadn't expected to see it from Sam.  For as much as he insisted he didn't need this, he had certainly fallen into littlespace quickly.

When at last the castle walls had been preserved, and the enemy defeated, Cas finally spoke.

"Sammy?  Dee?  It's past bedtime.  Time to clean up, okay?" he said gently.

Sammy blushed as he suddenly realized he'd been lost in his own little world.  A look of confusion and recognition crossed his face, and for a brief moment, he was Sam again.  Still, he nodded obediently and began picking up the toys.

"I don't want to go to bed," Dee whined.  "I'm not tired, and I want to play with Sammy some more."

Cas smiled.  "I know, Bumblebee.  But it's late and you had a long day.  Maybe Sammy will want to play again tomorrow."

"I want to build more _now_."

And there it was, Cas thought.  He knew Dean's stubborn streak would make it's way into littletime eventually.  He hadn't really considered what he should do in this situation, but he knew he had to set some boundaries.  After all, Dean had never really had any structure in his life. 

"Dee," he said sternly.  "Put the toys away.  We can leave the castle set up for tomorrow.  Right now, it's time for bed."

Dee huffed and frowned.  "But..."

"Am I going to have to carry you up to bed, Bumblebee?" Cas threatened.

"No!" His face burned red with embarrassment as he turned away from Sammy. "I'm not a baby," he grumbled as he rubbed tiredly at his eyes.

Sammy was watching this scene unfold in concern as his brother grew increasingly more agitated.   It was obvious that Dee was ready for bed, but he was just being stubborn.  "Dee?" he asked.  "Maybe he can read us a story, and then we can play again tomorrow?"  He glanced up at Cas hopefully as he tried desperately to placate his brother.

Cas grinned.  It would never cease to amaze him how well the they knew each other. _Of course_  Sammy knew exactly what to do to calm his brother.  He hadn't been exaggerating when he said that they'd been taking care of each other most of their lives. "Of course we can," Cas agreed.  "You can each pick out one book and I'll read to you in bed.  How does that sound?"

Dee considered this for a moment, looking back and forth between Cas and Sammy. He glanced longingly at the castle and then back to Sammy again.   Finally, he nodded.  "Okay."  Sammy stood and helped him to his feet, smiling warmly as he slipped an arm around his shoulder.

"Come on, Dee.  Let's go brush our teeth."

Dee nodded wordlessly, no longer complaining as he let his brother lead him up the stairs and into the bathroom.

Cas watched them walk away, so proud of little Sammy in that moment that he could burst.  The love he felt for the two of them as 'littles' was very different from the way he normally loved them, but no less intense.  The best part was, they didn't _need_ him there - they were perfectly capable of taking care of themselves.  And yet, they'd agreed to include him in this new part of their lives.  Cas was unaware of the concept of goosebumps, but as his arms prickled and an unfamiliar flush of heat washed over his body, he couldn't stop smiling if he tried.  He climbed the stairs two at a time, hurrying his way to Dean's bedroom, and stealing a quick glance at the boys along the way.  After grabbing a pile of books from Dean's dresser, he flipped the blankets down and crawled into bed, positioning his back against the wall so that he could read.

Dee entered the room first, with Sammy, suddenly shy again, in tow.  Cas could tell he wasn't quite as immersed as he had been when he was downstairs, but he was hoping a little quiet time might help him relax.  "Pick a book and come on," Cas coaxed, patting the bed to either side of him.  While Dee grinned and launched himself forward, leaping into Cas's arms, Sam tread warily to the other side and perched on the edge of the mattress. 

"What shall we read, Tiger?" Cas asked softly.

Sammy's face reddened and he glanced down at the pile of books.  

"What do you think?  We have dinosaur books, and superhero books..."

"I want Batman!" Dean said, snatching a book from the stack.  "Sammy, you should pick the green dinosaur book," he hinted eagerly.  

"Okay, Dee," Sammy smiled.  He picked up the book and handed it over.  "Dinosaurs."

"Good choice, Little One.  Now slide in close so we can read."  Cas tilted his head in a 'come here' gesture and patted the bed again.  "It's okay," he whispered.

Sammy nodded and took his spot next to Cas, trying his best to get comfortable despite his slight apprehension.  It was strange to hear Cas reading some ridiculous story about superheroes, but he had to admit, there was a hypnotic quality in that gravelly voice of his.  Before they had even finished reading Batman, Dean was sound asleep, snuggled into Cas's shoulder with an arm wrapped tightly around his waist.  Cas paid him no mind as he finished reading the story to Sammy.   
  
"You don't have to read the other one," Sammy whispered as Cas closed the book.    
  
"Why?  Are you tired?"    
  
"Not really.  But I'm okay."  
  
Cas smiled faintly.  "Then let's read your book anyway.  Maybe it will make you sleepy.  Get comfy, Little One.  You can snuggle in if you want."  
  
"No, I'm fine..."  
  
"Let go, Sammy," Cas whispered.  "This is a safe place."  Before he had a chance to argue, Cas picked up the book and began reading.    
  
Sam took a deep breath and closed his eyes.   He _was_ in a safe place. He was in the bunker with his brother and the closest friend he had. There was no reason he couldn't relax; after all, he was just doing this _for Dean_.  And, he supposed, it really wasn't that bad. It wasn't nearly as weird as he thought it would be.  It was actually... kind of comforting.   It made him think of all the times Dean had read him to sleep as a kid.  He slumped over as he made himself more comfortable, just barely leaning into Cas's shoulder.  
  
"Good boy," Cas whispered, planting a gentle kiss on the top of his head.   
  
Despite the warm flush creeping up his face, Sam smiled.  He snuggled in a bit closer, letting Cas's voice and the gentle 'whoosh' of Dean's breathing calm him. It had been such a long day, and this was _so_ relaxing...  Maybe he _did_ need this.   _Just a little_.   He could hear the story, but only in bits and pieces now as he began fading into sleep.    
  
As he heard the Sammy's breathing become slow and regular, Cas quietly set down the book, still only half-read. He glanced back and forth at his boys, looking so docile and serene, it was hard to believe these two were vicious monster hunters by day.   Silently he sat, just listening to them breathe and pondering how amazing it was that these two strong-willed, incredible human beings trusted him enough to let down their guard like this.  He loved them so much, it was almost overwhelming - and to think that until a few years ago, he had no idea what the concept of 'love' even _was_.     
  
Shortly after he'd come to Earth, Castiel began feeling a strange sense of longing.  It was like nothing he'd ever experienced in his long lifetime - a longing to fit in.  A longing to love, and to be loved.  A longing for _family_.   He wasn't lying when he told Sam that this wasn't just about what Dean needed.  But what he didn't tell him was, _he_ needed this just as much as they did.   And now, here he was with  _two_ families -  Sam and Dean, and Sammy and Dee.  It was way more than a rogue seraph could ever ask for. He'd seen a lot of peoples' personal Heavens, but no doubt, this was his own.  
  
Sam groaned softly, and Cas slipped an arm around his shoulder, gently rubbing and soothing him back to sleep.  He managed to free his other arm from Dean, which he used to draw him in closer to his chest, stroking his fingers comfortingly through his hair.  With his arms now around them both, he closed his eyes, relishing the deep sense of contentment.   
  
"Goodnight, my sweet boys."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had planned to do three parts to this originally, but this one went a little longer than I expected. I think maybe a timestamp or two later? I'd like to explore what happens a little further down the road, but maybe more so in a few short scenes... Anyway, thanks, all. <3


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